Another week of raw, unsubbed Koihime Musou fun. I’m sure I’m missing some of the jokes, but come on, you’re not in it for the witty repartees either and you know it!
Oh yeah. It went there. More after the break.
This episode begins with a new character, Yuan Shao the powerful warlord of the north, strutting inside a bath house whose steam, undoubtedly possessed by the spirits of former prudish bathers, clings to her and follow her around covering her naughtiest bits in the most convenient manner possible. After a good toweling and a snack she meets with a diminutive yet bashful Cao Cao (not half as annoying as I feared, whew) who discusses, uhm, something I didn’t quite get, an alliance maybe? My memory of the events in the book are a bit hazy. I was too distracted by Wen Chou’s antics. And stockings.
(This is one of those talkie-talkie bits that justifies downloading the fansub later in the week and watching it again. Teehee.)
Meanwhile… After parting ways with Gongsun Zan, our three Tigress Generals – Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and Zhao Yun – find themselves strapped for cash in a new town, where they briefly encounter Cao Cao riding through the streets along with Chen Gong.
Alas, our poor resourceless protagonists are forced to raise funds in the most humiliating of ways: by working as waitresses in a café. I’m sure they’re stooping to that level only because they’re sick of devastating the countryside’s bandit hordes and not to showcase some kind of weird Japanese costume fetish, right? Again, however, Koihime Musou scores bonus points and counterbalances the gratuitous use of a ridiculous premise by giving Zhao Yun a pants-wettingly cheerful waitress voice so incredibly at odds with her character that you have to hear it for yourself. Random moves like these remind me of the craziness of Kyouran Kazoku Nikki, another series that knows it’s anime yet manages to poke fun at its blatant pandering tendencies.
Since Zhang Fei is the series’s cute young character, she of course lacks the most basic of motor skills, which results in spilled noodles, broken plates, and a stern talking to from Guan Yu. The latter kicks Zhang Fei out of the café and the youngest Tigress must wander the streets, searching for an occupation more fitting of her skills so she too can earn money and impress her older sisters… Could it involve spears, a tournament, and another beautiful Tigress?
Okay, so, yeah it will. Hope I’m not spoiling your fun by answering my own question. She’s Ma Chao, the standard anime girl with ass-long brown hair we’ve all come to know and love, albeit whoever is voicing her needs to cut the testosterone out of her diet because she sounds a tad too masculine for my taste.
Other things to look for in episode 03:
- Zhao Yun’s previously-mentioned hilarious waitress voice, it’s that funny
- The tournament announcer, who yells commentary into a wooden spoon in lieu of a microphone
- Wen Chou. Tssssssssssssss hot hot hot. I wonder what could have caused that fascination of mine with girls who wear bandanas – Freud would undoubtedly have a field day – but luckily, I’m past self-analyzing, so I’ll just embrace that creepy side of myself.
One quick question: if anyone knows who the young girl that Huang Zhong is holding near the beginning of the credits is, please let me know, ‘cuz I’m racking my brains over it. Liu Bei? Liu Chan? Jiang Wei? Pang Tong? I’m clueless, and I’m the guy who read the book four freaking times.
Today’s Karen is: HAPPY (got a promotion at work)